We’ve all been there. Ignoring the signs and hoping for the best. We’ve all dated people that warned us in the early stages they may not be good for us. However because we’re optimistic, we ignore the very obvious red flags that could save us from a lot of heartache.
9 Relationship Red Flags to Take Seriously:
1.) Selfishness. Being with someone who doesn’t like to share can be draining. However, too often selfishness is ignored. You either hope they will change, focus on other aspects of the relationship, or disregard it altogether. But, selfishness will come back to haunt you. Especially if you decide to marry the person or have kids with them. In marriage sharing is inevitable. You’ll share the same home, bed, finances, kids, etc. If a person is reluctant to share in these instances, he or she will make life very hard. This is probably one of the biggest relationship red flags you’ll want to pay attention to.
2.) Secretiveness. What’s the point of being in a relationship if one has to hide everything? If you’re in a relationship with a person that refuses to let you into their lives, this is a sign there’s something he or she doesn’t want you to know. And usually it’s related to #1 above. Secretiveness can involve the hiding of finances, past relationships, and current ones too. Choose a mate that’ll never hesitate to be open with you no matter the consequences.
3.) Bad communication. During the early stages of dating, good communication may be challenging. It may take a while for two people to be on one accord with communication preferences. But, failing to communicate altogether consistently is a red flag. If a person rarely ever opens him or herself up and chooses not to keep an open door for expression of needs, he/she usually may not be the best long term candidate. Good communication is at the core of every healthy relationship. If a person consistently dodges communication and ignores your attempts to talk, leave.
4.) Private social media. This a big one. If the person you’re dating refuses to connect with you on Facebook and/or Instagram, they’re hiding something. Period. He or she either doesn’t want others to know about you, or they don’t want you to witness who else they may be in contact with. Or perhaps he or she doesn’t want you to see his or her activity feed. Whatever the case may be, something is being concealed. Beware.
5.) Hesitancy to help. Your sweetie should always be willing to lend a helping hand. If you’re stranded on the side of the road, will he/she immediately try to assist you? Or make up reasons to refrain? If you’re sick, will he/she offer to take care of you or at least buy whatever you need from the grocery store? If not, this is a huge red flag. A person’s hesitancy to help is a sign of selfishness (see #1). In marriage, you’re going to need someone who’s willing to help out for various reasons (sickness, babies, pregnancy, etc.) even when it’s inconvenient.
6.) Failure to set boundaries with previous flings. This is another big one. Huge. Not only is failure to set boundaries with certain people disrespectful, it’s selfish. If a person’s ex is still lingering around, it’s very likely they are keeping them around for a reason. However, whatever the reason may be, it’s unacceptable. Especially if the communication with the ex-lover is hidden. Exes are exes for a reason. If your mate still entertains past lovers, cut buddies, or flings and refuses to let those connections go, you should probably walk away.
7.) Inconsistency. Consistency is key. It tells you a lot about a person’s level of interest. If you find you’re usually the one initiating daily phone calls/texts, you’re probably more committed to the relationship than your mate is. His or her inconsistency with communication is a red flag. Likewise if your significant other occasionally verbally expresses how he/she feels, but hardly ever shows it, you should question their sincerity. A consistent person will show you how much they care. It’ll be present daily and in everything they do. If not…it’s a red flag. Hit the escape button.
8.) Flipping personality. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde individuals are very hard people to get along with. At any moment they will shut down on you without warning. Oftentimes, they’re quick to get angry as well. However when they’re in a good mood, they are a joy to be around. But don’t let them fool you. If you’re in a relationship with someone who constantly flips on you…run.
9.) Too many white lies. A person who constantly tells tiny white lies in their everyday life is very comfortable with lying altogether. If they’re capable of telling small lies without remorse, they feel the same way regarding bigger ones. And who wants to be with a habitual liar? Stop ignoring the red flags and pay attention. A liar is a liar. Plain and simple.
Red flags are always obvious. However, they’re often ignored. But pay attention to them. They’ll prevent you from entering into unhealthy relationships. Nightmares actually. Stop ignoring the signs and guard your heart.